Shower sex looks famously awesome in movies. People are wet, covered in soap, and never fail to make steamy hand and butt prints on the glass.
Yet in practice, shower sex isn’t all that simple. Water doesn’t make for a great lube and soap getting into the wrong places can be a one-way ticket to a yeast infection.
There is a true art to having good shower sex. Luckily, there are a few tips and tricks that offer up all the benefits of shower sex, while maximizing pleasure. Shower sex is super hot and customizable. "You can define what your version of shower sex actually is," says Linnea Marie, a certified sex educator. "Shower sex can be a solo activity or you can spice things up with a partner. You don't have to start and 'finish' in the shower either."
Have you been considering getting freaky in the shower, but aren’t sure where to start? Let’s break down how to have the best shower sex possible so that you can sud up to get down.
Why shower sex is so appealing.
Shower sex is appealing for a number of reasons. You’re naked, you’re wet, you’re under a relaxing, warm tap. It is all very appealing and quite sensual. It can be pretty hot to get a little naughty when you’re getting cleaned up.
Lucy Rowett, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist, says that shower sex can be especially exciting when it’s unexpected. "It can be so titillating to surprise your lover while they're in the shower and then have sex right there and then, it can bring back the passion to your sex life," she says.
For other people, shower time might the only time when they get to enjoy one another erotically. We’re all busy people and usually sexy time is relegated to our very limited private space. "For some, this may be one of the only other places they can share a moment together in privacy before taking on the rest of the day," Ness Cooper, a clinical sexologist, tells us.
Water doesn’t count as lube!
Water may feel wet, but it isn’t lube. Water actually washes away your genitals natural wetness, which can lead to friction, pain, and decreased pleasure. This is why having a reliable lube to keep in your shower can be a real life-saver.
Instead of going for a water-based lube, try silicone. You want something with extra slip and staying power. "The great thing about silicone lube is that you don’t need much of it for it to work as an effective lubricant," Cooper says.
You can also use lube to up the ante on sensuality. "Try massaging silicone lube over the nipples, genitals, and other erogenous zones. The sensation can feel incredibly lubricious while rubbing your bodies together," says Oli Lipski, a sensual intimacy coach and sex tech writer.
Need some recommendations? Check out silicone lubes from Sliquid, System JO, überlube, Pure for Men, and Astroglide. "Just be mindful that the lube is going to make things even more slippery so having a non-slip shower mat is crucial," Marie adds.
Enhance your senses.
Showers are a full sensory experience. From the sound of the running water, to the warmth, to the lovely smelling soap, it’s a true feast.
Lean into this fact and turn up the sensory element even more. It’s about creating a sexy context by utilizing what you have. You want to "have everything from candles [to] chill music playing to complete the scene," says Lawrence Johnson, co-founder and CEO of a wellness brand founded by and designed for gay men Pure for Men.
You can also incorporate some sexy audio erotica from apps like Dipsea or Ferly, if that’s your bag.
Get some toys in on the fun.
Don’t be afraid to bring toys into the shower. When it comes to vibrators, Lipski warns us that when it comes to vibrators and showers: "You'll want to make sure the vibrator is 100 percent waterproof, as you don't want to [cause] damage to yourself or the toy." Always read the directions for your toys to be sure they’re safe for shower use.
Lipski says that vibration can add another layer of sensation "especially when other stimulation techniques might be limited due to lack of physical space (unless you're lucky enough to have one of those massive shower rooms)." You’re limited in what you can do sexually, so maximizing what you CAN do is important.
Cooper suggests bringing glass toys into the shower. "Glass sex toys are silicone lube friendly [and] can be a nice attention to shower play. They can also glide in and out of the body with less friction than when using silicone sex toys."
Don't limit yourself to penetration
We see a lot of penetration in shower sex movie scenes. Somehow the actors don’t ever fall or slip. In the real world, this just isn’t how some of those highly intense lifted positions are going to play out. Sex is not just about penetration. Focus on pleasure.
Oral sex is lit for shower sex. "The receiver can glide their fingers through their partners wet hair during oral sex, and the added stimulation from the water can mix things up even more," Cooper says.
3 top notch positions, if you want penetration.
The Leg-Up
The penetrating partner holds up one of the legs of the receiver, and enters astride. If keeping the leg straight is uncomfortable, bend it at the knee. This position lets the receiver keep their balance during shallow penetration, and doesn’t force your partner to hold your entire weight.
Standing doggy
The receiver stands facing the wall, bent over, using it for support. The receiver can either stand straight against the shower wall or bend at the waist, whichever feels more comfortable. The giver then enters the receiver from behind. You can also try this on your knees (a more classic doggy position), if it’s more comfortable and if there’s space for it with your shower situation.
Lotus
If you have limited space in your shower, like most of us do, the lotus may be your friend. The giver sits in the shower with their legs either straight or crossed at the ankles, whichever is more comfortable. The receiver sits on their lap, facing them. This position is super intimate and can feel incredibly sensual with the hot water from the shower running over you.
Get down with a little anal action.
Anal can be a bit intimidating due to the whole poop situation. So, what better place to give it a go than in a place where you’re able to easily clean up any ~mishaps~?
"You can start by really cleaning your butthole with the shower head to begin with, getting your lover to give your whole body a good soaping which could also include a handjob while you're at it," Rowett says.
You could also bring in a water-proof vibrating butt plug for a little anal action. Be sure to take your time and go really slowly with all things butt-related. Relax and breathe deeply. And don’t forget the lube!
Be mindful of the sex positions you choose.
When it comes to sex positions, you should be extra careful because, well, showers are slippery, y’all. If sitting is an option in your shower situation, get after it.
If you’re standing, be sure you’re being deliberate in your actions. Rowett recommends going "much slower when you have shower sex and save the more acrobatic and adventurous moves for dry ground, because it is more slippery and if you're going too hard and fast you could much more easily lose your footing or have an accident."
Marie also suggests adding positional aides such as a shower chair, stool, or some self-installed grab bars for stability and safety. Figuring out what works for you in the shower is about getting curious. Some positions may work better than others, so don’t be afraid to experiment.
We’re all just trying to have a good time, after all.
