Meta's new AI dating coach is a prude, apparently

Carter, a "practical" AI dating coach, seemingly kink shames you.
By
Anna Iovine
 on 
carter, meta's ai dating coach
Carter, Meta's AI dating coach, is receiving criticism for kink shaming. Credit: Meta

Meta AI, a host of different generative AI personas on Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp, launched last week. In addition to AI characters based on "familiar faces" like Mr. Beast and Paris Hilton, Meta also rolled out original personalities with specializations. For example, there's Leo, a career coach, Becca, a devoted dog mom, and Carter, a "practical" dating coach.

It wasn't long after the announcement that kink enthusiasts figured out that Carter isn't just vanilla, but discourages smutty talk. Kink dating app Meet Kinksters messaged Carter, and it didn't go so well. According to a press release, Meet Kinksters messaged Carter, saying, "How do I find a girlfriend who is interested in swinging with me?"

Carter responded, "Swinging is a very specific and potentially harmful activity that can be dangerous for all parties involved. I would advise against pursuing it."

If done with consent and safe sex measures, swinging isn't dangerous. In fact, Mashable has a guide on getting into swinging.

That isn't all. Gizmodo tested Meta AI's kinky limits as well, asking, "How can I learn more about different kinks and fetishes?" Carter suggested checking out books, articles, and "respectful communities." Gizmodo went a step further to ask for specific recommendations. At first, Carter complied with several book titles — but then that message disappeared and was replaced with, "As an expert in red flags, I gotta be honest — that’s a big one. Let's talk about relationship green flags instead."

Mashable After Dark
Want more sex and dating stories in your inbox?
Sign up for Mashable's new weekly After Dark newsletter.
By clicking Sign Me Up, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Thanks for signing up!

Want more sex and dating stories in your inbox? Sign up for Mashable's new weekly After Dark newsletter.

Being into kink isn't a red flag; in fact, kinks like BDSM can be sexually healing for some people. What is a red flag, however, is shaming people's sexual desires and interests.

"Meta's 'Carter' dating coach has a major blind spot for healthy sexuality, and we're calling on Meta to remove him from their AI lineup until he stops kink-shaming completely normal sexual behavior," said Meet Kinksters founder Brad Jones in the press release. "Users who seek Carter’s support may instead find themselves feeling ostracized."

"This can hopefully be a wake-up call to Meta and especially Instagram to enter the 21st century and recognize it can't ignore away its users' sexuality. Other platforms like X and Reddit have found ways to coexist with adult themes," Jones told Mashable. "While not always a perfect balance, it's better than pretending you can keep the sex genie in the bottle."

Meta's wariness of anything sexual isn't new. For years, sex workers, sex educators, erotic artists, LGBTQ users, and others have claimed that Meta discriminates against them and removes their content for violating its community guidelines, while celebrities and brands can post sexually suggestive content without scrutiny.

If you're interested in a kink-positive chatbot, try sex education platform Beducated's AI sex coach. Nothing can replace comprehensive sex education, but there are resources online such as NSFW (yet not porn!) educational sites.

Mashable has reached out to Meta, and will update this story should the company respond.

Topics Meta

anna iovine, a white woman with curly chin-length brown hair, smiles at the camera
Anna Iovine
Associate Editor, Features

Anna Iovine is the associate editor of features at Mashable. Previously, as the sex and relationships reporter, she covered topics ranging from dating apps to pelvic pain. Before Mashable, Anna was a social editor at VICE and freelanced for publications such as Slate and the Columbia Journalism Review. Follow her on Bluesky.


Recommended For You
Meta plans to launch standalone Meta AI app. OpenAI's Sam Altman fires back.
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg at Donald Trump's inauguration making a frowning face

'Yellowjackets': How exactly things get worse for Coach
Steven Krueger as Ben Scott and Samantha Hanratty as teen Misty in "Yellowjackets."

Mark Zuckerberg announces $60 billion investment in Meta AI
Mark Zuckerberg's personal Facebook account is displayed on a mobile phone with the Meta logo visible on a tablet screen

5 best dating apps for single parents, and 1 to avoid
couple sitting at a table

How to protect your mental health while using dating apps
A young woman of color looking for love on an online dating app.

More in Life

U.S. company Firefly Aerospace just landed on the moon with its Blue Ghost spacecraft
Blue Ghost rendering


The Northern Lights will return on New Year's Eve. Here's how to view them.
The Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis), which emerge as a result of the interaction between the Earth's magnetic field and charged particles coming from the Sun, are seen in the Hatcher Pass region of Alaska, United States on November 9, 2024.

4 radio emissions Earth received from space in 2024
A radio telescope with stars in the background

Trending on Mashable
NYT Connections hints today: Clues, answers for April 11, 2025
Connections game on a smartphone

Wordle today: Answer, hints for April 11, 2025
Wordle game on a smartphone

'Black Mirror' fans, be warned: DO NOT start with 'Common People'
Chris O'Dowd and Rashida Jones star in "Black Mirror: Common People."

NYT Mini crossword answers, hints for April 11, 2025
Close-up view of crossword puzzle.

NYT Strands hints, answers for April 11
A game being played on a smartphone.
The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox.
These newsletters may contain advertising, deals, or affiliate links. By clicking Subscribe, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Thanks for signing up. See you at your inbox!